Os pais, por amarem os filhos, protegem os filhos das frustrações. No entanto, é necessário ensinar desde cedo que a vida é feita de ganhos e perdas. As crianças lidam com isso no dia-a-dia: o autocarro que passa antes de tempo, o golo marcado pela equipa contrária na hora do recreio, a amiga que muda de escola. Como tal, preparar a criança para a perda de um ente querido é possível, encarando a morte de uma forma menos traumática. O sentimento de perda, inerente ao facto de abordarmos a morte, é algo que os pais desejam não transmitir à criança. A perda de um ente querido é sempre caracterizada por um turbilhão de sentimentos, principalmente para as crianças, como tal cabe aos adultos auxiliá-las neste processo.
Tal como nos adultos, a forma como a criança lida com a morte é única e depende da sua personalidade da criança e do vínculo afectivo com a pessoa falecida. Infelizmente não é possível prever nem antecipar o comportamento da criança pois as reacções podem ir do parecer indiferente (apesar de não o ser) até a uma postura de tristeza absoluta.
Os pais, os familiares, os professores, os educadores e todas as pessoas que lhe são próximas podem ajudar nos momentos de dor, auxiliá-la a encarar a dor e a tristeza como algo natural nesse momento, como parte integrante do processo de perda. Alguns adultos pensam, erradamente, que se deve promover um ambiente positivo após a morte do familiar para não entristecer a criança. Penso que a partilha de sentimentos como a tristeza ou mesmo assistir a momentos de choro espontâneos pode permitir à criança sentir-se à vontade para ser autentica, evitando esconder os seus sentimentos.
A perda de um ser amado causa sempre dor, independentemente da faixa etária.
Como disse Romain Rolland, escritor francês, “Todas as decepções são secundárias. O único mal irreparável é o desaparecimento físico de alguém a quem amamos.”. De forma a superar esta dor, que poderá nunca desaparecer inteiramente, a criança necessita de se sentir apoiada por quem ama.
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